Baller Wives (VH1)

BallerWives

Baller Wives (VH1) – Premieres 14th August

VH1s unwanted answer to WAGS where it follows the wives of their mainly retired NFL spouses, as they go about their business living in a gated community in Florida.

From the off there is a division amongst the women stemming from some sort of dog related incident, meaning every time the group converge in a bar it ends up in a slanging match. After the first meet it then skips three months, where there is another party they attend and exactly the same thing happens again. To break up the coverage of arguments it also throws in the usual interviews and follows the women doing their own thing.

It’s is unrelentingly tedious.

0.9/10

Xtreme Underwater (Travel Channel)

XtremeUnderwater

Xtreme Underwater (Travel Channel) – Premieres 12th August

A travel programme that show various underwater locations and activities where folks go to on their holidays. For each venue or activity it follows a couple as they either stay at the venue or partake in the water based activity, while a voiceover gives out a load of related information.

It’s a regular travel show that does feature some unique locations, though with it being 45 minutes long it does start becoming a bit of a chore to get through.

2.5/10

Haunted Towns (Destination America)

HauntedTowns

Haunted Towns (Destination America) – Premieres 15th August

Ghost hunting goings on where the Tennessee Wraith Chasers (TWC) head off to towns that have had a bloody history in the hope of seeing a higher concentration of supernatural occurrences.

As the team arrive at their location they meet up with locals to find out the history and visit a couple of places that have had some recent activity. After scoping out the possible venues they perform the first of two night investigations, where they use all the standard ghost hunting paraphernalia to try and gather evidence that spirits are there.

After conversing with the dead, the lads then move on to the next location where they do the second and final investigation, chat to more spirits and then in the morning all agree that the town is a bit haunted.

As ghost hunting show it does everything you’d expect and doesn’t offer anything different. It one for those that like watching folk getting freaked out and making out words in radio static.

3.6/10

Ultimate Retreat (DIY Network)

UlitmateRetreat

Ultimate Retreat (DIY Network) – Premieres 7th August

Renovation show where DIY Network hosts take on a lakeside retreat room by room as they remodel the house in preparation for it to become a prize for one of the channels viewers.

The set up for the show is similar to Welcome Back Potter and Mark and Derek’s Excellent Flip as each episode focuses of a certain section of the house. During the episode the hosts go through explaining on a couple of the techniques they use in the construction and and other general DIY show type tips.

All-in-all it’s another run-of-mill property show

2.2/10

Life of Kylie (E!)

LifeOfKylie

Life of Kylie (E!) – Premieres 6th August

Another unwatchable Kardashian spinoff appears, this time a film crew follows Kylie Jenner about as she questions what she actually does. It’s a bleak look into the life of a woman with apparently one friend and a group of paid assistants not doing much bar filming mundanity for Instagram.

She does however answer the call from a lads mother to be his prom date, pretty much leading Kylie to constantly repeat how she’s never been to one and how it’s something that no one should go through. So this slowly becomes all about her attending her first prom with the lad she’s “helping” slowly getting pushed further into the background.

It’s a horrifically shit bit of TV.

0.5/10

Darkness (Discovery)

Darkness

Darkness (Discovery) – Premieres 2nd August

Survival competition vaguely in the style of Naked and Afraid, three individuals are given basic survival items and enter a cave system at staggered intervals. The three then have to find each other, and when together, have to find the exit all within a 6 day time limit. All with the added stipulation that they can’t use any lighting in the pitch black caves.

Like Naked and Afraid and other such survival shows the contestants can bring along one additional item with their set pack to help them with the challenge. Along with showing the three perform the task, the programme shows their backstory and to why they decided to do the challenge, as well as interviews with army personal who have actually done similar as part of their training explaining what the three could be expected to go through.

As a survival competition it isn’t as watchable as something like Alone, nor is it as good as a military based training challenge like The Selection: Special Operations Experiment. That said, it still does a job.

5.3/10

The Lowe Files (A&E)

TheLoweFiles

The Lowe Files (A&E) – Premieres 2nd August

The actor Rob Lowe and his two sons set off to various locations to find out if there is any truth in the folklore or supernatural stories he used to tell them growing up. This means they head off to a specific location to set up scientific tests with the assistance of their long term Shaman.

It plays out like any other supernatural/ghost hunting programme, where after visiting the surrounding area, they turn up at the location have a quick tour of with the owner to find out the possible hotspots then begin the standard night time investigation.

At the end, the three concur that they’ve all seen something a bit weird, mention that haven’t yet gone through all the footage they gathered then never mention if the footage does in fact give some answers.

The show comes across as if it wants to be a version of Destination Truth, but doesn’t do anything near the attempts to prove or debunk what has been seen.

3.4/10