Love Blows (WE TV)

LoveBlows

Love Blows (WE TV) – Premieres 25th August

Reality white noise that is focused on the dating agency LuvBiz, a company run by a divorced couple who employee their children, the former husbands ex-mistress and a couple of other folk.

Apart from the 15 seconds of them actually doing their jobs it’s pretty much 45 minutes of arguing, shouting, arguing while shouting and general meddling which leads to the aforementioned arguing and shouting.

It’s a less a programme and more an instrument of torture.

0.5/10

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Growing Up Hip Hop: Atlanta (WE TV)

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Growing Up Hip Hop: Atlanta (WE TV) – Premieres 25th May

Spinoff from Growing Up Hip Hop, this follows Bow Wows return to Atlanta, where before attending the listening party for his Soulja Boy collaboration meets up with a few folks that helped him during is early career.

While meeting up with them talk is bandied about that Mr B Wow should do a new solo album in a newer mature style and record it in the ATL. As this is happening the show also follows the offspring of a few famed rappers and hip hop bigwigs, where they all know or work with each other, leading to many reality show based fracas occurring.

All of which ends with the listening party happening, the offsprings beginning to have verbals, and Bow Wow getting ready for a shoot out when a few of the more nefarious former associates gatecrash the place.

It’s all a much of a muchness.

1.6/10

Dr Miami (WETV)

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Dr Miami (WETV) – Premieres 31st March

Reality gubbins that follows Dr Miami, a plastic surgeon with a habit of dressing up in fancy dress and live streaming his procedures on Snapchat.

In it two folks who want some cosmetic surgery done head down to a consultation where Dr Miami is there dressed like fancy dress competition gone wrong saying how he’ll perform the work.

After that the client head back and get the work done, where the programme shows the doc at work merrily slicing and altering the body, then it finishes up with the person being pleased as punch with the work down.

It’s similar to other plastic surgery reality shows like Atlanta Plastic or Botched By Nature, but with a doctor that is effortlessly annoying as fuck.

0.7/10

Hustle And Soul (WETV)

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Hustle And Soul (WETV) – Premieres 16th March

Another reality show based on fisticuffs and shouting, this time set in a soul food restaurant. It follows the head chef and owner of the Pink Tea Cup in Brooklyn, Lawrence, as he tries to achieve his goal in getting a Michelin star.

Though that is barely a secondary story to show where it descends into a battle of wills between his barmaid who seems to have had past relations with him, and his girlfriend, the restaurants general manager. As per any reality show in the history of scripted reality, it ends up with fistfights, sassy slanging matches and hysterics.

It is rubbish.

0.8/10

Mama June From Not To Hot (WETV)

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Mama June From Not To Hot (WETV) – Premieres 24th February – Renewed

When S01E01 Watch started there was a decision made to not review anything shown on TLC due to it being filled with shite over scripted reality bollocks such as Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.  Imagine the joy when after the open seconds it’s revealed that Mama June is the mother of Honey Boo Boo, they’ve switched channels and are now polluting unsuspecting eyes with their utter drivel.

So, this is set after Mama June has split with some chap called Sugar Bear, and purchased a house that doesn’t look like a shack. All the while doing the single mother type thing. After dropping off the youngest kid the Mr Bear reveals he’s getting wed, so June decides to lose a shitload of weight and go to the wedding to show him what he’s missing *click fingers in a sassy manner*.

What follows is one attempt of exercising, a fella legging it from a date with her, and then her manager arranging a meeting with a doctor to perform some weight loss surgery. All of it linked seemlessly together with some footage where it looks like June is wearing a fat suit, and with a bit of after show reading it seems that she was.

Even for a scripted reality this is unbearable shit.

0.3/10

Ghosts In The Hood (WE TV)

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Ghosts In The Hood (WE TV) – Premieres 5th January

Ghost hunting shenanigans where the fine folks of the Official Paranormal Operations (OPO), go to city based places that are full to the brim with supernatural goings on.

The OPO consists of a psychic, an electronics whizz, a researcher, the CEO of the OPO, and the comedian buddy of the OPO whose main role is to get scared shitless when doing the night time investigation. During the ghost hunt some weird shit will happen, the classic mumbled recorded ghost voices are found and ghost infestations are shown to be real.

At the end of the investigation they reveal to the client what happened and promise that the spirits that were annoying them have gone. Before heading off to their new case.

For a ghost hunting show it doesn’t take itself too seriously like Ghost Brothers, though it never goes fully stupid like Ghost Bait did where they brought in psychic cats and leaving the proprietor in a cellar with a burlap sack over their head.

3.9/10

Money. Power. Respect (WE TV)

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Money. Power. Respect (WE TV) – Starts 13th October

Reality show centered around 4 female lawyers either already working within the music industry or just starting out within it. A lot like another WE TV show Sisters In Law, the women all vaguely know each other to meet up at events and meetings where the usual reality scriptedness of backbiting and shouting occur.

It’s reality show by the numbers stuff.

1.1/10