How Far is Tattoo Far? (MTV)

How Far is Tattoo Far? (MTV) – Premieres 11th October

Hosted by Snooki from Jersey Shore along with Nick Tortoerlla from Younger, this is a show where two folks who know, and are almost already peeved with each other, get the chance to tattoo whatever they want on the other persons body.

In the programme the two people are introduced, where they talk about the history about each other and explain why they want to tattoo one another. Then Snooki and Nick each take one of the guests to the tattooist where they show the host a what they want etched on the other persons body.

Then after the tattoos are done they are revealed one at a time, where the person on the receiving end ends up being distraught/annoyed/perplexed, as Snooki and Nick try to raise the recipients spirits after being given something utterly shit on their body. Then when that’s all done, they do it all over again with a new couple.

In the world of bad TV this show is right up there, where there’s nothing redeemable that comes from it. And it’s generally an excuse for people to fuck each other over in a witless and shitty way. It is dire.

0.6/10

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Pretty Little Mamas (MTV)

Pretty Little Mamas (MTV) – Premieres 30th August

Yet another MTV reality show. Where in this one it follows five twenty-something mothers who have known each other since high school, and all gave birth soon after graduating.

The show follows the five as they deal with being parents, their varying personal relationship problems and the near endless nights out/day drinking meet ups. All of which seems to end up with some sort of conflict.

Compared to the other reality stuff that MTV kicks out with reckless abandon, this one just merges into the rest. And altogether it’s an absolute grind to get through.

0.9/10

Catfish: Trolls (MTV)

Catfish: Trolls (MTV) – Premieres 18th July

Another Catfish spinoff to join MTV Suspect, where in this iteration Charlamagne Tha God and Raymond Braun help someone whose been getting abuse on the internet.

Following the same format as Catfish, Charlamagne and Raymond meet up with the person that been getting abuse. Where they talk to the pair about when it started and what’s been going on and for how long. From there the pair do the usual style research, where they look into the persons online activity, talk to folks they know, and then try to arrange a meet.

By the time the victim and troll meet, there is an unsurprising amount of back and forth, where Charalamagne doesn’t seemed to fussed about getting anything resolved. Leaving Raymond on an uphill battle to get anything resembling a conclusion on film.

The show then does the usual wrap up, where they talk to both parties a few weeks on from when they met to find out what they are up to. Altogether the programme comes across as a poor Catfish clone, that lacks any of the charm that the original has. Making it all a bit forgettable and a grind to get through.

3.0/10

Ex On The Beach (MTV)

Ex On The Beach (MTV) – Premieres 19th April

US version of the UK show, where 10 “celebrities” who found fame via the internet or reality TV shows head off to a beach resort in what they think is a regular dating show.

After meeting up on the first day it’s then revealed to them that over the period they are there, the show will begin introducing their ex partners onto the show.

As this is going on, the people trying to hook up with the folks who have had their ex arrive, try to figure out the motives of the ex. While the people who are reunited, along with chatting to their ex, get nominated to go into the Shack of Secrets.

In there the former couple gets to find out if their suspicions about the relationship and break up were true, as it lets them access certain things without protest from the old partner. Along with this there is also a Big Brother style eviction process where the house mates partake in a secret ballot, and the person with the most votes is booted out the house.

The show is a grind to get through with it flitting between folks getting attached far too easily, through to the standard slanging matches. All-in-all it’s one to miss.

1.4/10

Jersey Shore: Family Vacation (MTV)

Jersey Shore: Family Vacation (MTV) – Premieres 5th April

Five years after then end of the original Jersey Shore series, MTV have managed corral all but one of the cast away from their current lives. Where between them they’ve been making shows for HGTV and the Food Network through to getting charged for tax avoidance by the IRS.

So as before they all head out to Miami, the show catches up with each of the cast to see what they’ve been up to, then the ones that live near each other meet to reminisce about the old days and tediously chat about how they’ve changed.

When they all manage to finally get to the house, the majority find out about the court case The Situation is going through, only to quickly get a call from him saying that he’ll be able to turn up after all. They celebrate this news by heading out, getting shitfaced and a bit pissed off with each other.

It’s all a load of normal reality show tedium that’s centred on pissed up arguments and indiscretions and is a complete grind to get through.

0.8/10

Teen Mom: Young & Pregnant (MTV)

Teen Mom: Young & Pregnant (MTV) – Premieres 12th March

Another Teen Mom spin-off, where in this iteration of the programme it follows five soon-to-be mums as they get ready for their due date.

In the show the five talk about their partners and the current relationship they have, along with the problems they had during that time, and how their families are helping them.

As the programme goes along the five talk about how they think other peoples perceptions of them have changed, while showing them dealing with some personal problems along the way.

As you’d expect it follows the usual Teen Mum setup, and only really of interest for those that watched and enjoyed any of the other versions of the show.

1.1/10

Winter Break: Hunter Mountain (MTV)

Winter Break: Hunter Mountain (MTV) – Premieres 27th February

Reality TV gubbins where eight twenty-somethings move into a house in the Hunter Mountain resort, to spend the winter break doing snow based activities. That and drinking, causing a ruckus and general shagging around.

The show is like a winter version of Floribama Shore where no sooner as they arrive, they are all pissed out of their skulls arguing and trying to chat each other up. Along with the little interview bits the eight do, the show continues with with the drunk arguing and whatnot and is an absolute grind to get through.

0.9/10