Siesta Key (MTV)

Siesta Key (MTV) – Premieres 31st July

Some world class reality show tedium as a group of early-20 somethings go through a pile of boring relationship gumpf, while being narrated by one of the cast as if it was an episode of Revenge.

Virtually everyone involve appears to be lobotomised or at the least heavily sedated as they lurch around one another, while having utterly dull conversations. Even the reality show staple of bitching and backbiting seems to be poorly read off of cue cards.

Add to that there’s about 5 minutes of content squeezed into a 45 minute runtime, it’s is a terrible, terrible programme.

0.6/10

Safeword (MTV)

Safeword (MTV) – Premieres 13th July

Comedy game show where two celeb friends along with the aid of the inhouse comedians, try to embarrass each other to the point where the other has to tap out.

There are three rounds of competition, the first has the celebs swap phones where they use them to write anything they want onto the others twitter account. If the celeb doesn’t use their safeword the message is then published and is not allowed to be removed for 24 hours.

In the next round the two exchange turns in telling embarrassing stories about the other, and in the last round are plugged into a lie detector where they are asked questions. By the end of the show the one that has used their safeword the least is the winner, and the loser has to do a embarrassing performance to round out the show.

While the show does have a few funny moments in it, it does feel like there should be a safeword limit as it seem too easy to get out of possible cringeworthy situations.

4.2/10

Promposal (MTV)

Promposal (MTV) – Premieres 14th May

A reality show that could be mistaken as a continuation of Super Sweet 16, it follows a high schooler who in the build up to their prom have decided to organise a big event where they ask their boyfriend/girlfriend/other to go to the prom in front of the school.

Like Super Sweet 16 it’s all about a high maintenance school kid treating this non event like it’s the most important thing in the world, and stressing out when things go even slightly awry. It’s utter tosh.

0.9/10

Are You The One? Second Chances (MTV)

Are You The One? Second Chances (MTV)  – Premieres 22nd March

A competition that’s a spinoff from the dating game Are You The One, in which 10 couples that have appeared in the original programme go against each other for the chance to win up to $250k.

Initially the couples are each given $20k into their prize fund, then they are set a challenge to complete where the first to complete are given an additional $20k, use of a private suite and are immune from elimination, second place are given $10k, third gets $5k, and the team that finishes late has their prize fund halved and are placed up for elimination.

It then goes into a reality type situation following everyone in the same house have minor arguments and conflicts until the couples are made to nominate one of the remaining teams for the other elimination spot.

At the elimination the couple voted by the other are given a decision whether to steal the prize fund from each other or to continue on. If one of the couple votes steal and the other doesn’t the stealer gets all the cash and the team exit leaving the team that finished last in the challenge to continue in the competition. If they both vote steal the leave with no money and the prize transfers over to the other eliminees prize fund, or if they both decide to continue the other team is eliminated.

As a competition it’s slightly better than Battle Of Ex Besties, but is in no way worth watching.

2.5/10

Stranded With A Million Dollars (MTV)

Stranded With A Million Dollars (MTV) – Premieres 21st February

A reality survival competition where 10 folks are placed on a deserted island supplied with nothing but the clothes on their back, and are challenged to survive for 40 days where the people left will split $1million between them.

The cash $1million is divided into $100k bundles, that are placed in 10 separate locations, and they can only collected if the group get to each drop point within a certain timeframe, but if they get there late they forfeit that $100k. In an additional twist the survivalists can purchase tools, equipment and food using the cash, but the have to an exorbitant price increase where a can of coke is valued at $1,000.

As the competition goes on one person in the group is selected to take part in a “temptation”, where they select someone to go with them and are offered a basic meal at a cost of $5k or a deluxe version costing $15k. The can either pass on the offer or select a meal and choose whether to let the rest of the group know they’ve spent money without consulting them.

The show is like a mix between the old channel 4 show Shipwrecked and a version of Naked and Afraid where no one has any survival skills. Though with the amount os additional twist it has along with the survival aspect becomes all a bit muddled in what it wants to be and becomes a chore to watch.

2.4/10

Sweet/Vicious (MTV)

Sweet/Vicious (MTV) – Starts 15th November – Cancelled

Black comedy about two college students Jules and Ophelia. Jules belongs to a sorority and secretly dons a ninja outfit by night and acts as a vigilante by hospitalising men known to have raped women that attend the college.

While on one of night missions, Ophelia a computer genius and avid weed enthusiast, runs into Jules dishing out a beating who then scarpers leaving a necklace. Ophelia then pieces together what Jules has been doing and manages to track her down.

Jules doesn’t appreciate being found out and warns Ophelia off but unbeknownst to her Ophelia puts a tracker on her phone, and follows her to her next target. There she manages to jump in, just before Jules gets beaten up in a botched attack, but ends up killing the fella.

Afterwards the get the body in the boot of Ophelias car and head to the bar to plan what to do next. At the bar Jules meets a fella that has been trying to swoon her, only to find out he is the brother of the victim. Plus to top it off as they leave the bar the car has disappeared.

It’s an enjoyable enough first ep and is surprisingly dark for a MTV show.

4.5/10

Acting Out (MTV)

Acting Out (MTV) – Starts 13th October – Cancelled

Do you like stand up comedy but hate the way you have to use your imagination to picture the scenarios the comedians are describing? Well rejoice since this show removes the need to use any mental faculties, by allowing the comedians to tell one joke that is overlaid by them acting it out as a sketch.

It’s a condensed take on Greatest Party Story Ever, where they rattle through about 10 comedians in 20 minutes, meaning everything feels rushed, and all the jokes are all impressively poor.

It’s not good.

1.0/10