Floribama Shore (MTV)

FloribamaShore

Floribama Shore (MTV) – Premieres 27th November

Jersey Shore-esque reality shenanigans where a eight early 20-somethings all move into a house in Panama City Beach. A party destination on the Florida/Alabama shoreline.

As the eight get to know each other, they get drunk in the house, head off into town and get drunk and go to the beach and drink. In between the boozing they try to hook up with each other, reveal a couple of personal secrets and do the usual interview to camera bits.

With the programme, there’s nothing that really separates it from Siesta Key or any other reality show MTV has put out recently. It’s all by-the-numbers stuff, though it is a televisual time machine. It manages to make 45 minutes turn into what seemed to be 3 hours.

0.7/10

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90’s House (MTV)

90sHouse

90’s House (MTV) – Premieres 16th August

Reality competition where 12 millennials are put in a house filled with 90’s electronics, clothes and other such things, and go against each other until the last person remaining wins a 90’s cruise, a new 90’s Mazda and $90k.

Going with the usual format the 12 get split into 3 teams and given a challenge, after completing the task the team judged to be the worst have to put forward their case as to why they should say, then the hosts decide on who should leave.

Along with the competition element it’s pretty much a reality show where everyone gets on each others nerves leading to the usual shouting matches and bitching to camera. It’s some tedious viewing.

1.9/10

Dare to Live (MTV)

DareToLive

Dare to Live (MTV) – Premieres 29th August

Music videographer Rory Kramer meets up some musicians he’s working for, then on their day off from gigging takes them out and about the area doing some borderline reckless shenanigans.

The activities that Rory sets up are mostly doing stuff loosely linked on the persons fear along with doing a few other things as he tries to get them to push their boundaries.

It’s pretty mundane viewing.

2.7/10

Undressed (MTV)

Undressed

Undressed (MTV) – Premieres 16th August

A dating show going under the guise of an experiment where it follows two couples on a first date. Unlike normal encounters this happens in a room where the only things in it are a bed and a large screen.

When they both arrive the screen tells them to undress each other to their underwear, then the couple have to do or answer whatever appears on the screen for 30 minutes.

At the end of the date they are then asked if they want to meet up again, using a touchpad that appears on either side of the bed. As a dating show it’s no different to any other, but for the “experiment” side that doesn’t offer much other than being a pointless twist.

1.6/10

Siesta Key (MTV)

SiestaKey

Siesta Key (MTV) – Premieres 31st July – Renewed

Some world class reality show tedium as a group of early-20 somethings go through a pile of boring relationship gumpf, while being narrated by one of the cast as if it was an episode of Revenge.

Virtually everyone involve appears to be lobotomised or at the least heavily sedated as they lurch around one another, while having utterly dull conversations. Even the reality show staple of bitching and backbiting seems to be poorly read off of cue cards.

Add to that there’s about 5 minutes of content squeezed into a 45 minute runtime, it’s is a terrible, terrible programme.

0.6/10

Safeword (MTV)

Safeword

Safeword (MTV) – Premieres 13th July

Comedy game show where two celeb friends along with the aid of the inhouse comedians, try to embarrass each other to the point where the other has to tap out.

There are three rounds of competition, the first has the celebs swap phones where they use them to write anything they want onto the others twitter account. If the celeb doesn’t use their safeword the message is then published and is not allowed to be removed for 24 hours.

In the next round the two exchange turns in telling embarrassing stories about the other, and in the last round are plugged into a lie detector where they are asked questions. By the end of the show the one that has used their safeword the least is the winner, and the loser has to do a embarrassing performance to round out the show.

While the show does have a few funny moments in it, it does feel like there should be a safeword limit as it seem too easy to get out of possible cringeworthy situations.

4.2/10

Promposal (MTV)

Promposal

Promposal (MTV) – Premieres 14th May

A reality show that could be mistaken as a continuation of Super Sweet 16, it follows a high schooler who in the build up to their prom have decided to organise a big event where they ask their boyfriend/girlfriend/other to go to the prom in front of the school.

Like Super Sweet 16 it’s all about a high maintenance school kid treating this non event like it’s the most important thing in the world, and stressing out when things go even slightly awry. It’s utter tosh.

0.9/10