Date Night Live (Lifetime)

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Date Night Live (Lifetime) – Premieres 27th July

Like Safari Live: Migration but for humans, this is a 2 hour show where three relationship experts watch nine first dates happening live while commenting on what is going right or wrong.

Most of the time it’s just a live feed of a couple having an awkward conversation, before cutting back to the studio where the hosts joy for whats occurring is delivered with innuendo and the gushing excitement announcing that this may be the best thing ever.

It isn’t.

0.9/10

Little Women LA: Couples Retreat (Lifetime)

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Little Women LA: Couples Retreat (Lifetime) – Premieres 26th July

Another Little Women spinoff where a group some of the couples in all the other spinoffs meet up at a couples retreat to sort out their relationship problems. As the couples meet up at the resort the wee woman that sorted the trip is then surprised by the fact another couple had invited along the woman she hates. Thus ensuring some textbook reality show squabbling.

It’s a more staged take on Little Women if that’s even imaginable.

0.7/10

So Sharp (Lifetime)

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So Sharp (Lifetime) – Premieres 26th July

Reality dancing shenanigans that follows the University of Louisville dance team as they go about their business in preparing to get a hattrick of national titles. Like other dance based shows like L.A. Clippers Dance Squad or Step It Up, it has the despotic choreographer demanding constant perfection along with the usual drama between the dancers as they squabble about who should dance or not.

It’s the standard reality gubbins that’s all instantly forgettable.

1.0/10

Little Women: Atlanta: Monie Gets Married (Lifetime)

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Little Women: Atlanta: Monie Gets Married (Lifetime) – Premieres 7th June

Reality gubbins that’s a spinoff of a spinoff, where Monie from Little Women: Atlanta is the centre of attention. After originally agreeing to marry her boyfriend and then calling it off after high maintenance arguments and losing the engagement ring, ends up proposing to her fella and for him to accept.

The show follows the volatile two has they try to arrange their big day, where Monie and the rest of the Little Women lot have a couple of minor disagreements, and find out her wedding is the same weekend as her cousin.

It;s all the usual low grade reality rubbish that you’d expect and makes Ben and Lauren Happily Ever After? look positively high brow.

1.0/10

Married At First Sight: Second Chances (Lifetime)

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Married At First Sight: Second Chances (Lifetime) – Premieres 27th April

A dating show where after entering failed marriages that relationship experts set up for them, two former Married At First Sight participants take part in a version of The Bachelor/The Bachelorette.

Before the programme enters a the normal dating show setup, the two  participant go through an X-Factor style open call speed dating start meeting everyone that’s signed up with two of their friends/relatives, where they invite 50 of them to the next round.

In the next round they spend a day with the 50 people, where along with their two friends chatting to the select few, they get to spend time with them. At the end of that mass date the 50 have to be culled to 25, where after the show goes into the normal dating show premise.

For a dating show there’s nothing really new in play, apart from the contestants are seemingly adamant that they have to marry the finalist. It’s not worth the watch.

1.3/10

Bringing Up Ballers (Lifetime)

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Bringing Up Ballers (Lifetime) – Premieres 1st March

Reality gubbins which follows five mothers of teenage basketball players as they try to get the best for their kids, in way of training and what schools are interested in them, as they approach moving onto College in the hope they’ll do well and become NBA players.

After briefly talking about their offspring it leaps into the standard reality show deal where along with the talking head interviews which descends into them criticising each other, their kids coaches and whatever else there is to whinge about. They also get to meet up where they passively aggressively chat to each other, attend basketball games where they become caricatures of pushy parents and generally come across as hideous people.

It’s just like the rubbish The Real Housewives type shows but is tenuously linked to basketball. Avoid.

0.8/10

The Pop Game (Lifetime)

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The Pop Game (Lifetime) – Premieres 21st February

A talent competition that’s a spinoff from The Rap Game, in this iteration the famed record producer Timbaland has selected 5 teenagers who are popular on Youtube to go head-to-head over 10 weeks, where the winner has the chance of getting a record deal.

In each ep the 5 kids are put through a couple of challenges set by Timbaland to show off their versatility and to see what their limits are. Each round is then judge by Timbaland and a celebrity judge where by the end of the episode the five a placed on a leaderboard, where the top three are given a pat on the back, and the bottom two are told to buck their ideas up. All of which doesn’t really seem to have any immediate effect on the competition.

As it’s a straight copy of The Rap Game it offers nothing new except the genre of music being performed, and the competition itself is pretty mundane.

1.8/10