Chesapeake Shores (Hallmark)


Chesapeake Shores (Hallmark) – Starts 14th August – Renewed

Behold, this may be the most Hallmark programme to ever be made. A single mother of 2 who holds a high powered job in the city returns home at the request of her sister, only to discover that she works too much and is missing out on watching her daughters growing up, falling into the pattern her father did to her and her siblings.

By the end of the ep, she has decided living in her home town and commuting to work may be the way forward, her whole family will turn up out of nowhere during a 4th July fireworks display and that awkward lake swimming scenes will become a strangely regular occurrence. And of which is set to an overtly twee backing track that sounds like its from a composer of a straight-to-video Disney film.

Along with all that, it’s topped off with the grandmothers weird take on an Irish accent that only kicks in when she hands out nuggets of wisdom.

Every aspect of this is unrelentingly twee.