What Happens At The Abbey (E!)

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What Happens At The Abbey (E!) – Premieres 14th May

Unsurprisingly for a show on E! this is yet another reality programme, where this time they follow the employees of The Abbey nightclub.

After going through each of the people involved where they talk about what they do in the club and their plans to get famous. It then descends into a nightclub version of Hollywood Cycle and Work Out New York, where everything generally involves around them getting drunk out of work hours and bitching about each other.

It’s all as tedious as you’d imagine it would be.

0.8/10

Second Wives Club (E!)

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Second Wives Club (E!) – Premieres 4th May

A show that highlights the plights endured by a group of women either married or dating older gents who have been married before. This is a reality show where in between day drinking and not doing much the women either act really pally with each other or have the usual slanging matches in filled restaurants.

It’s a by-the-numbers piece of scripted reality along the lines of WAGS and The Real Housewives that is utterly crap to watch.

0.6/10

The Arrangement (E!)

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The Arrangement (E!) – Premieres 5th March – Renewed

Drama Megan Morrison a struggling actress gets the her change to audition for a film starring opposite Kyle West, an action star that has recently been jilted at the alter and is part of the Institute of the Higher Mind. An organisation that bears a resemblance to Scientology, and where its leader Terrence Anderson is looking for the right future partner for West.

After dismissing Megan on her audition tape, Anderson is talked into calling her back for a reading by his assistant. At the call back Kyle becomes enamoured by Megan taking her for a jaunt to Mexico where after, her agent gets in contact saying she’s been offered a $10million marriage contract and a deadline for her to accept.

For a drama made by E! it’s far better than initially expected, though there’s not much to it that would makes you want to watch any more.

4.1/10

So Cosmo (E!)

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So Cosmo (E!) – Premieres 8th February

Scripted reality gumpf, this time from the Cosmopolitan magazine office. In it the editor-in-chief does brief introductions for all the departments within the magazine then it descends fully into the reality schtick.

In the first ep there’s an interview for a fitness instructor to work there, that ends up with the woman interviewing ending up going on a date with them, a celebrity comes in for a photo shoot, and the Editor-in-chief announces she’s leaving, leaving a lot of people crying and wondering if their job is safe.

It a tiresome watch.

1.4/10

Revenge Body With Khloe Kardashian (E!)

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Revenge Body With Khloe Kardashian (E!) – Premieres 12th January – Renewed

Khloe Kardashian, straight from the car crash that was Kocktails With Khloé, hosts a show where two overweight regular folk go to her to get help with losing weight.

After recounting a banal anecdote Khloe and finding out the person behind the need for them to lose weigh, she then hooks the two up with a personal training and nutritionalist each, giving them 12 weeks to lose weight before having a reveal to family and friends of their new figure.

It’s like any of the recent dietary shows, but intersperses it all with occasional “wisdom” from the Kardashian.

1.4/10

Mariah’s World (E!)

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Mariah’s World (E!) – Starts 4th December

A reality show that finally lets the world know what Mariah Carey gets up to when preparing and going on tour. Along with Mariah doing almost each interview to camera on a chaise lounge making it look like she’s suffering from a debilitating back injury, briefly shows her less than experienced manager trying to sort out Careys impending marriage along with sorting the hastily arranged tour.

So while Mariah takes any opportunity to prove that she does more than just singing songs, there’s newly hired PA under strict instruction not to cry or have a relationship, and a backing dancer who clearly has a goal of hooking up with the high pitched warbler.

It’s at best a 20 minute poorly stretched out to 45 minutes, and literally has no appeal to anyone who isn’t a die hard Mariah Carey fan.

1.0/10

Hollywood & Football (E!)

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Hollywood & Football (E!) – Starts 30th November

Continuing on from being part of a below average Hard Knocks, the unstoppable 7-9 bullshit merchants, the LA Rams, get another show to try and raise their profile in the NFL graveyard of Los Angeles.

Using the WAGs approach to the proceedings, the show focuses on the Kenny Britt, Rodger Saffold, Lance Kendricks, Chase Reynolds and everyones favourite Wide Receiver, Bradley Marquez and their families as they relocate from St Louis. With Marquez in the role of silent, confused looking man, the rest of the cast do all the donkey work of organising a party, meeting up for lunch and other such reality show things.

It’s not good to the point you’re hoping Jeff Fisher will turn up to add some excitement.

0.8/10