The Gong Show (ABC)


The Gong Show (ABC) – Premieres 22nd June

A reboot of the 70’s Variety show, where three judges sit rate amateur talent acts where the winner takes home a cheque for $2000.17. Though if the judges find the act to be boring they can hit the gong to halt the performance, or if the act makes it to the end they rate it out of ten.

The talent show itself is a plethora of borderline insane acts where the judges lightheartedly mock them along with the innuendo driven Mike Myers created host Tommy Maitland. And unlike other talent shows such Little Big Shots or any of the singing competitions, the acts are quickly introduced then they go straight into the thing, meaning there’s a constant stream of some truly weird stuff going on.

For what it is, it’s the most entertaining of the talent shows on offer since everything on it is up for ridicule and the acts play up to it. It’s a decent enough way to burn through 45 minutes if you fancy being constantly bemused at what you’re seeing.


Boy Band (ABC)


Boy Band (ABC) – Premieres 22nd June

Singing competition hosted by Rita Ora where 30 lads are judged by three “architects”, Nick Carter, Timbaland and Emma Bunton, where the final five singers remaining will become a signed boyband.

The initial round of the show has all 30 performing indivdually in front of the “architects”, followed up where a couple of the contestants are chosen to pair up to see if they can perform in certain boyband scenarios.

After which the “architects” whittle the 30 down to 18, and three groups of 6 are formed. These groups then have to go through learning a song and routine where the weakest two members are put up for elimination with the loser leaving the show.

For a singing competition it’s no different to The X Factor and the like, where the performers backstories all seem to have varying elements of personal tribulations set to emotive backing tracks. The show offers nothing different to what is already out there and is a slog to sit through.


Steve Harvey’s Funderdome (ABC)


Steve Harvey’s Funderdome (ABC) – Premieres 11th June

A take on Dragons Den/Shark Tank where in front of a studio audience two inventors pitch their product leaving the audience to vote on which product should receive the funding.

In the show it goes through three seperate areas of inventions, where the creators can win between $10k to 100k depending on how close the product is to be ready for release. After the pitches are finished and Steve Harvey has completed his range of befuddled expressions, the crowd proceed to vote on their favoured invention.

Before the winner is revealed the two inventors are given the opportunity to cash in early where they can buzz in during a cash reveal to accept a lower cash value if they think their product won win the vote. If someone does take that cash then the remaining inventor gets the total cash only if the crowd backed them. If no one decides to cash in early the it does to a straight head-to-head reveal where the winner gets the money and the loser gets nowt.

It’s not the greatest bit of programming but is watchable enough if you need to waste 45 minutes and like seeing a crowd decide on a products future after seeing a 3 minute pitch.


Still Star-Crossed (ABC)


Still Star-Crossed (ABC) – Premieres 29th May – Cancelled

A romantic drama that’s based on the book which answers the question that few have asked, what happened after the end of Romeo and Juliet? And it’s answered in the most confusing nonsensical way possible.

After going through the setup of the two families, the Montagues and the Capulets, being at war with each other and the whole Romeo and Juliet situation being played through. It then sets up the storyline where after the families continue their feud, the Prince of Verona passes down the royal decree to end the fighting where one of Juliets cousins Rosaline, is to marry one of Romeos cousins. Neither of which are thrilled by the proposition.

As Rosaline protests the plan with the Prince they end up getting together as Romeos cousin watches on, and a weird love triangle is formed. And a needlessly confusing and boring programme is born.

It is to Shakespeare what Reign was to the life and times of Mary Queen of Scots. It is really, really crap.


Downward Dog (ABC)


Downward Dog (ABC) – Premieres 17th May – Cancelled

Canine based comedy that follows Nan, a 30 something who is being continuously being overlooked at work and is in the middle of an on/off relationship, and her dog Martin.

While one half of the show is about Nan and her trying to get career and private life on track, the other half has Martin giving reality style musings to camera where he goes through his neurosis about not understanding his owner.

While the setup is pretty interesting the show itself doesn’t have much going comedy wise. Still, there’s been worse network comedies.


The Toy Box (ABC)


The Toy Box (ABC) – Premieres 7th April – Renewed

A Dragons Den/Shark Tank style show focused on childrens toys, where inventors have to get through two rounds of interviews, afterwhich the winning idea gets put through to the final and the chance to get their product produced by Mattel.

In the first round the inventor explains their product along with a brief demonstration to a panel of three industry bigwigs, who if they like their idea put it through to the next round. The second round consists of the inventors of the three best products, where their products are road tested and they are questioned by four kids, one of which is the miniaturised version of Donald Trump. After testing the three products, the kids then have the deciding decision on who to put through to the final.

It’s like a mix between All-American Makers with the kids opinion bits of Little Big Shots thrown in.


Imaginary Mary (ABC)


Imaginary Mary (ABC) – Premieres 29th March – Cancelled

A comedy about a workaholic PR exec with a fear of commitment called Alice, who as a child has an imaginary friend called Mary who was used to stop her becoming attached to anyone and avoiding her ending up like her mother after her dad left.

After meeting up with a fella she meets at work Alice ends up falling for him, and when he suggests that Alice should meet his kids aMary returns to help Alice out in trying to sabotage the relationship.

Alice ends up ignoring the advice of her imaginary friends and starts to make the relationship work, leaving this to be a terrible comedy about a woman with a voice in her head that she tries to ignore.

It’s not good.