Step It Up (Lifetime)

StepItUp

Step It Up (Lifetime) – Starts 25th September

Reality show following the almost tyrannical like adventures of a dance studio owner and teaching in Miami. Inbetween the interview to camera pieces where her hairstyle changes in almost it cuts to her. The boss motivates her class by yelling at them whilst pointing at them using a baseball bat.

She takes a break from the yelling and bat swinging to she her mum, trying to find a new home to the studio and putting forward a couple of students to an audition for a talent agency.

It’s not good.

1.7/10

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Blood & Oil (ABC)

BloodAndOil

Blood & Oil (ABC) – Starts 27th September – Cancelled

A farfetched drama where a newlywed couple set off to achieve the american dream by borrowing $37k from their friends and family to open three laundrettes in a oil producing town in North Dakota.

On their way to the town they crash their truck, totalling it as well as the 5 (five) washing machines they were transporting. This leads to them now being penniless and without the required machinery for their self service dreams. They also haven’t acquired any shop space so they have to reside in the shanty town on the outskirts of the fully developed town that already has a laundrette.

The bloke quickly picks up a job with the oil company that the bosses son shafts him out of, but luckily the wife overhears that the oil bigwigs are trying to acquire some land. This leads to fella buying a plot of land that bottlenecks between an indian reservation and the plot the company are after.

To raise the cash the guy buys a JCB on credit and instantly sells it off and after finding out he’s still $25k short, borrows the cash from the local bar owner who charges the affordable interest of 200% per week. He gets the cash, buys the land and the the oil company rents it off him for 3 years for $1.1mil.

This all happens  in a week. One week. And they also invest in a restaurant.

An unbelievably stupid programme.

3.3/10

Quantico (ABC)

Quantico

Quantico (ABC) – Starts 27th September – Renewed

Classic whodunnitry where a group of freshly graduated FBI agents are under suspicion for a large bombing in New York. It’s split up into occasional parts of the fall out of the bombing, with the back story of the graduates being put through their paces at Quantico.

The way the show is done is a bit reminiscent of How To Get Away With Murder, and it has the feel it could become annoying with the constant twists and red herrings it churns out. A bit like the aforementioned and that became tiresome pretty quickly.

5.0/10

The Player (NBC)

ThePlayer

The Player (NBC) – Starts 24th September – Cancelled

Set in Las Vegas, an FBI agent turned security advisor is recruited by a gambling ring known as “The House” which have access to a Person Of Interest style computer that can predict when crimes will occur. He is challenged to stop the criminals before they can carry out the crime whilst a group of ultra rich punters bet on the outcome.

It’s mindless action with multiple gambling references shoehorned into any scene where characters from “The House” are involved. For what it is, it’s enjoyable.

6.5/10

Fashionably Late With Rachel Zoe (Lifetime)

FashionablyLateWithRachelZoe

Fashionably Late With Rachel Zoe (Lifetime) – Starts 24th September

A fashion review show that comes across as a crappy podcast hastily made into a TV show. Along with one of the guests being barely mic’d up for the first third of the programme, the crowd seem to be under the threat of death if they don’t make a loud reaction to every sentence uttered, and finished off with the host appearing to struggle to read an autocue.

To call it fucking awful would be an understatement.

0.5/10

Rosewood (Fox)

Rosewood

Rosewood (Fox) – Starts 23rd September – Renewed

A modern day Quincy operating as a freelance medical examiner picks up cases of suspicious deaths, then using his CSI style lab setup teams up with a detective in the Miami PD to hunt down the perpetrator.

Along with his Quincy skills he has a Sherlock-esque power of perception, meaning the detective is pretty much a passenger whilst he rocks up to various suspects and can almost instantly confirm or deny anything they say.

Complete televisual fluff.

4.6/10

Teachers (TV Land)

Teachers

Teachers (TV Land) – Starts 13th January – Renewed

Comedy about six dysfunctional teachers in an elementary school, using the problems they are going through as subjects to educate the kids in varying degrees of failure.

It has a couple of good moments and for something that doesn’t even hit the 20 minute mark it’s an alright watch.

4.0/10