The Big Picture with Kal Penn (Nat Geo)

TheBigPicture

The Big Picture with Kal Penn (Nat Geo) – Starts 30th March

With an opening episode looks into crime The Big Picture displays statistics using infographics and data points on maps to highlight concentrations and causes of certain criminal activities such as illegal drug use.

Along with the data the show interviews people within the hot spots to find out how it effects the community.

Reminiscent of How the States Got Their Shapes but with a more varied subjects.

5.5/10

The Holderness Family (UP)

TheHoldernessFamily

The Holderness Family (UP) – Starts 26th March

Reality show following the Holderness family who have quit their jobs and are concentrating on their own business creating internet video content.

I’ve no idea how making a music video that sounds like a substandard version of the Flight of the Conchords song Business Time brings in the cash to support a family of four, but apparently it’s been working for them for over a year.

2.3/10

Surviving Marriage (A&E)

Surviving Marriage

Surviving Marriage (A&E) – Starts 24th March

A couple whose marriage is on the brink of divorce are dropped out of a helicopter into a remote location to survive on their own for five days. Through the five days they are set challenges by two relationship therapists, these are normally greeted by raised voices and arguments by the couple.

By the end of the five days the couple have to decide whether they want to stay together or separate before being allowed to return to normal life.

3.4/10

Hot GRITS (VH1)

HotGRITS

Hot GRITS (VH1) – Starts 25th March – Cancelled

VH1’s continuing mission to create the worse TV shows known to man continues with Hot GRITS. A group of young women who are from Valdosta, described by the girls as a rung below a one horse town,  also known as the 14th biggest city in Georgia.

It has an airport… I’m beginning to sense a false narrative.

Whilst pretending to live in a Deliverance-equse backwater there is the usual reality show nothingness teamed up with kicking out an ex-boyfriend from their home (you go girls), eating barbecued raccoon (ZOMG they’re so redneck!!!1!1!!!) and eating in nice restaurants (ZOMG they’re so… wait, what?).

Somehow this show manages to make classic VH1 shows like Totally Nicole, Barely Famous, Walk of Shame Shuttle and the rest seem like groundbreaking, must-watch TV.

It’s a fucking shambles.

0.6/10

Neighbors With Benefits (A&E)

NeighborsWithBenefits

Neighbors With Benefits (A&E) – Starts 22nd March – Cancelled

Following the trials and tribulations of a swingers couple who are constantly on the lookout for signing new and upcoming talent to their adult soirées, and the members who seem to break the unwritten rules of partner swapping.

Also features a religious couple who are really peeved at the goings on with almost everyone that lives near them.

2.2/10