Close Up Kings (Syfy)

Close Up Kings (Syfy) – Starts 29th Jan

Three charisma-less close up magicians go around New York accosting people to witness their tricks, the people pretend to be amazed and then hopefully forget what just happened and get on with their lives. The magicians, not fazed by the get-the-fuck-away-from-me vibe of the public, want to do a Houdini style escape act in a scrapyard. Witnessed by eight scrapyard employees, the escape barely receives an applause.

Every single one of those employees should be given a prize and/or medal.

2.2/10

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Breaking Greenville (TruTV)

Breaking Greenville (TruTV) – Starts 29th Jan

This looks like it should be a comedy, it has the appearance of a docu-comedy but somehow isn’t. The show is about two rival local news stations battling each other for viewers.

One of the meteorologists looks like Brick from Anchorman. How this isn’t a failed scripted comedy is beyond me.

2.7/10

Mississippi Men (History)

Mississippi Men (History) – Starts 28th Jan

Mississippi Men is about the lives of the people who work on the Mississippi. A tug boat crew is sent to recover a ship, two fishermen take on a contact to catch a shedload of fish, and a pool hustler has decided to live on a raft and fleece every pool player he comes across.

The highlight is the pool player and his needless escape from a bar. He was jumping over fences where the front door was easily accessible.

2.9/10

Kart Life (TruTV)

Kart Life (TruTV) – Starts 28th Jan

Centred on four families where their children take part in karting.

Too much family stuff and not enough race action for my liking.

3.6/10

Airshow (Discovery)

Airshow (Discovery) – Starts 26th Jan

Following stunt pilots and wing walkers risk their life performing tricks against gravity. Marvel at Super Daves newly employed hype man inability to call a routine, also contains amateur footage of such performances going mortally wrong.

3.3/10

Duff Till Dawn (Food Network)

Duff Till Dawn (Food Network) – Starts 29th Jan

Two teams of two battle through the night to make absurdly decorated cakes. They are then judged and the winner presented with an oversize golden whisk.

3.9/10

Sons Of Liberty (History)

Sons Of Liberty (History) – Starts 25th Jan – Miniseries

Drama showcasing some classic British bastardry, Sam Adams and John Hancock start a booze smuggling ring intent on dodging the fair and just British tax laws. The villainous Yanks then pick on a wealthy individual standing up for a legitimate business practise, only to force him to shoot a kid.

6.3/10